Why Sincere Encouragement is a Gospel Priority
Hello everyone. It is such a joy to share a few thoughts with you today on our church blog. I have been spending a lot of time recently thinking about the way we talk to one another, especially when things feel a bit strained or difficult. Whether at home, at work, or even within our church family, we all know what it feels like when a relationship gets a bit "muddled."
Our starting point today is a very challenging but beautiful word from the Gospel of Matthew.
“You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
At first glance, these words from Jesus might seem a bit harsh. He is speaking to the religious leaders of His day, but the principle He shares is a universal truth for all of us. He is essentially saying that our tongues are the "thermometer" of our souls. If we find ourselves constantly nagging, critiquing, or spotting faults, it might be a sign that our hearts have become a bit cluttered with frustration or self-righteousness.
In my own study of the scriptures, I have been struck by how often the Bible links our character to our speech. In the book of Proverbs, which is full of such practical wisdom, we are reminded that "a man of understanding" has a "cool spirit." This does not mean being cold or distant; it means having the calmness to listen and the self-control to speak words that actually help.
When we choose to encourage someone, we are participating in a ministry that the early church took very seriously. Think of Barnabas in the book of Acts. His name literally means "Son of Encouragement." He was the one who came alongside people when others were suspicious of them. This is what the Greek word parakaleō is all about. It means to call someone to your side. It is a strengthening, pastoral act. It is not about being "nice" in a superficial way; it is about calling out the gold in someone, even when they can only see the dirt.
The idea that sincere compliments help people perform better while nagging makes them worse is not just a psychological tip. It is a theological reality. When we encourage others, we are modelling the "Christ-shaped grace" we see in the New Testament. In the letter to Philemon, the Apostle Paul asks for a "superhuman task of heartfelt reconciliation." He knew that this could only happen through grace.
You might worry that if you ignore someone’s faults, they will just take advantage of you. I understand that fear; it is a very human one. But the gospel shows us a different way. God did not wait for us to be perfect before He encouraged us with His love. He loved us while we were still in our mess. When we choose to "aggressively encourage" someone, we give them room to breathe and the motivation to change because they feel valued, not pressured.
So, this week, why not pick one person you find difficult to get along with? Instead of the usual reminders of what they are doing wrong, try to find one thing they are doing right. Offer a sincere word of thanks. It might feel a bit clunky at first, but I truly believe you will be amazed at the response.
Prayer:
Lord, we thank You that Your heart is full of love and grace toward us. Please forgive us for the times our words have been sharp or discouraging. Fill our hearts so deeply with Your Spirit that only kindness and encouragement overflow from our lips. Give us the courage to see the best in others and the grace to speak words that build up rather than tear down. In Jesus’ name, Amen.